It’s been more than a week, I couldn’t write anything. My mind is being consumed with so many negative thoughts, that are scattered and disturbing, therefore, I was not able to write anything or vacant my mind. I am a meditation practitioner. Well, not a regular one but I do it whenever I need to empty my mind or relax my nerves, but lately there were so many thoughts that are not ready to leave my mind. People say it is important to meditate on daily basis for some time. Especially if you think your life, mind and surroundings are not working the way you want them to be. You should meditate but then there are so many days when you do not want to get rid of the anger that is consuming you.
Sometimes, life throw such situations at you that you keep on thinking the reason of those incidents for a long period of time. I don’t know if getting out of this situation is difficult or I myself don’t want to get out of it. Coz if I am afraid that if I will get out of this situation I will forget about what happened, than I might invite other bad things in life. I might start loving some other thing and that thing will be snatched from me once again.
Last Wednesday, my brother’s car got stolen. He used to love his car and it was not just a car whose loss is unbearable but every memory that was attached to it was stolen by the thief. One heartless human who wouldn’t have thought that how the money is earned to buy a car. How a person cares for a car. I remember the days when my brother used to love his car. Praise his car and would get very offensive if we had said any word against it. He treated the car as the love of his life. He used to spend hours with his car. Washing it, polishing it and then beautifying it, he has taken care of that car as his child. And because of him we started loving the car. But now, when it is gone, it is very difficult to see the sadness in his eyes.
A thief, when has stolen the car wouldn’t even looked at it with an opened eye. It was just bunch of iron rods for him and the way of earning money but the one who lost it can imagine the miseries of living without it. When you have to drop your kids at school and you do not have a conveyance, in these cold mornings you have to take your 4 years to school by walking, where you used to take your old parents to village every week and now they will have to choose the alternative options which are not very easy and comfortable in Pakistan.
I believe people get used to of living without things as easily as they get used to of living with things. But then again, that car would always keep us fearful of losing the things we love and make us realize that in this cruel world, one cannot live without facing such difficulties. No matter how hard we try, we earn, we save and we buy things that we love, it is very easy for one coward to steal and turn our lives upside down in moments.
I don’t know if any hope can be generated from these all circumstances and let me say that at this time at this moment, I don’t want to generate any positive thoughts in my mind. I want to mourn the loss and I want to think again and again that nothing is permanent in this world And as I am always eager to say that all of your sadness can be turned in happiness in just blink of eyes. Today, I want to be a pessimist and say it goes vice versa. Anything can be snatched from you in moments and all you can do is to burst in tears and look at your bare hands and live with the loss.